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League of Legends Girls: Useless Trash?

6 min read

So I’ve been playing League of Legends quite a bit these days. I started out having no idea what I was doing, but eventually I began to really understand the game.

If you don’t know about League, you basically have a dude or chick… or robot… and you control them by clicking around a big map. They go wherever you click.

In a normal game, like Diablo III, you would simply have a controller and whatever you push on the arrow pad or knob would direct them more specifically step by step. So? This whole interface was a bit new for me.

Overall, a group of five enemies has a home base, you and four people have your home base. The goal? You’re trying to fight through minions, towers and other human characters to get to their home base…. so you can destroy it.

I want to introduce you to some the of the characters I enjoy playing most and why and maybe you can find your own kind of love for them as well… first off Veigar.


That little guy you could kick and make an easy field goal with, who could also destroy you in a single spell.

Veigar is one of my favorite characters because he has a special power to lock people away temporarily with, what many call a “Baby cage.” You know… like in Rugrats.

When he traps you can can unleash some pretty heavy blows to your life without much resistance and hopefully you die. Ha ha and all that.

Veigar has all kinds of little horrible things to say like “I will swallow your soul”… cute. Especially considering it is done in a silly little voice that sounds like it came from an angry mouse.

Veigar’s ultimate move is pretty much the same as his other moves, useful and dangerous if leveled up/built on correctly.

When I first started playing him I was actually a bit disappointed because I thought from his default artwork that he was a giant horseman, when in fact, he is actually this very short little dweeb in a way… which kinda makes him even more endearing.

Now… another character I enjoy playing is Urgot. The big spider guy… he’s a great ally but bad enemy.


He’s fat, he’s a spider, he’s a man… he’s a fat spider-man.

Some of you may have sighed a little bit just by me mentioning Urgot because if you power up his automatic machine gun, he pretty much is well… horribly irritating to everyone who encounters him.

Basically Urgot has one of the most terrifying finishers because of the fact that when you are low enough health, you can press one button while pointed in the right direction and chains will lurch out of Urgot and pull you into him so he can… I guess, devour you.

As a player on the other, team, your whole screen becomes covered in chains and you’re pretty shook at that point… normally.

Now, Urgot is perfect for a three lane level, pretty decent for a one lane level, but not so much in modes where you can straight up spam your abilities as his abilities aren’t really about spamming, they’re more for being opportunistic.

Now the title of this article is centered on this idea that League of Legends girl characters are trash… well, you decide my opinion based on the following… one of my top four favorite characters to play as? Tristana.

Tristana is a cute little character who functions as a great ranged unit. If you end her life, you generally feel bad because she seems so defenseless and innocent, but make no mistake, this girl is lethal. She can plant a bomb on you, shoot you from really far away, and even dunk on you.

Basically the reasons I enjoy playing her are this (1) No ranged unit I’ve seen is better at taking down towers. Her bombs work on them which makes her powerful as heck.

(2) If you need to get away from someone, her W move can help you escape faster, and her other moves are basically centered on not being anywhere near the enemy when you attack, which is generally how I need to play anyway because I’m not very good at close ranged stuff.

(3) She racks up kills FAST when she is leveled up… like just mows through minions at a blistering rate. Considering every champion I’ve played… if anything, she’s basically my favorite character.

But liking one character doesn’t mean I’m not anti-girl just yet… so what if two of my top characters were girls? Oh my! Two awesome female champions in League? Yep.

Her name is Riven.

Riven has a sword that is probably heavier than the average grown man’s body. She can send “blade force” like waves at the enemy and is basically the female version of Cloud Strife (from FFVII) in my opinion.

I enjoy playing as her because she can typically take a hit and dish it out even better. She’s great at cutting through towers when leveled up and overall? I just like the lady’s aesthetic.

If I had to rank my favorite characters to play overall, it would probably go like this:

1. Tristana
2. Veigar
3. Urgot
4. Riven

I feel this way pretty strongly… maybe because my score often follows the same trend… I score the most human kills with Tristana. I score the most assist human kills with Veigar. And the other two just generally dish out a lot of punishment to everyone.

Right now I’m trying out a number of characters, I’ve only played maybe… 12 different total characters so far and there are over 100 so, if you guys have any recommendations please DM me on Patreon (the only place I take mail these days) ~

So? My overall review of League of Legends… 10/10. For a multiplayer game, it’s the best out there right now.

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Also! If you ever want to game with me in League of Legends, join my Patreon’s Discord and I’ll chat with you there!

Till then, here’s a video I just made about the League of Legends Girls!