So in my recent UhOhBro video I… uh… kinda name dropped someone, and I did this because I am two different people… there is the on camera entertainer me, and the off camera regular guy.
The regular guy me? Yeah, I don’t really want any drama, I just want life to be chill. But… the on camera guy? I don’t care at all, not about really anything. The reason is because I would not watch off-camera me, that’s boring, that’s not fun. On-camera me is exciting and interesting, like most anyone in my position would be.
So, in the video I dropped the name “Dev” because I was searching for “Retro Chick” and boom, non-stop pictures of a chick who looks just like Dev showed up… so? Well, I got triggered… and now I gotta talk about it. Let’s call you guys, my digital therapist.
Let me go through the sequence of events. This is all regarding the last patron meet up months ago, and… is simply meant to tell the full story without getting too emotionally invested or anything…
- A lady who contributed over $2,000 to my Patreon (wow) wanted us to have a Patreon meetup in her city. (Again, thank you for giving so much, that is still appreciated despite how things left off)
- She did this because she wanted another Patron, from Germany, to not have to travel as much as he had other things he wanted to do in the US associated with her location.
- Because those two individuals (Dev formerly lived in Germany, the other actively lives in Germany) had come to state last Patreon meetup, I decided to go with it. It just seemed nice of me to fly across the country for her and the other patron as they did it for me last time.
- The last event we all just hung out and made videos. This time, because Dev was now in control of the situation, she made the whole schedule. She did not check to see if everyone was on board.
- Dev making the whole schedule meant there was no time for videos. It also meant there was little time to just hang out. Instead, we were stuck in traffic the majority of the trip.
- She planned to go to a theme park, even bought a parking pass, but we voted against it, wasting her money there (which she only revealed hours after we had already driven far from the park). Much of the trip she acted like we were using her, like we were a financial burden for the gas she was losing… problem is, we all spent over $500 just to get there, and she spent not even a fourth of that the whole trip as I was covering most meals.
- Dev began to get agitated when she found out almost none of us wanted to go along with her schedule. She wanted to spend time at the theme park & down town, myself and two other patrons just wanted to make videos and hang out.
- The more Dev realized the majority of us did not like the schedule she set out, the more upset she became.
- Dev parked her car at a location she was familiar with around Boston. She then directed us to a half-mile walk. The destination was a second hand store. The items there were the same price as new items would be and I made fun of that fact. Dev did not like this.
- I had remembered to get water from a near by gas station earlier, but two patrons did not. They requested we stop by the gas station again, which was maybe 200 ft from Dev’s car, to get water. Dev refused to join us and sat in her car while we got water.
- When we got in the car, now with water bottles in hand, Dev began cussing and yelling at all three of us. She was red in the face, her eyes were bulging, she was livid and we all just sat there, absorbing her rage.
- After I asked her to stop yelling and cussing at us, she began to drive aggressively. She burned out the clutch in her car as a result.
- In fact earlier she had gotten a ticket from a police officer when she picked up the patron from Germany as she lost her cool and yelled at the police officer as well. He was talking to her because she was not legally situated with her car (based on the officer’s perspective).
- Later that night she had a beer, got very red in the face again (alcohol did it this time, not rage), and pretended none of this happened.
- In fact she was at one point playing the ukulele and singing cheerfully, like everything was fine. She was playing so loud, completely to herself, you could hear her from the basement in the background as we finally recorded a video… without her.
- Dev drove us to the airport, everyone decided to be dropped off together because none of us wanted to be around Dev. We were all scared of her. When I say scared, I mean, we were terrified of her snapping again.
- To assist this point, one person had a flight that didn’t leave for 11 hours. The other’s flight did not leave for, as I recall, about 8 hours. Both of the two patrons leaving that day would rather be stuck at the airport than risk upsetting Dev with what Dev expressed as a clear inconvenience to her… despite her inviting us all there.
- Later on Dev text us, again, like there was no big deal. Like everything would be ok. I confronted Dev and said I was not ok, and that what she did to the three of us was upsetting.
- Dev decided to now speak of a “clean break” immediately deciding that she no longer wanted anything to do with me. Her decision again, came instantly after I said what she did was not ok.
- She then tried to ally up with the other people that were there, but they were not having it. Everyone refused to take a position against me, and instead either remained neutral (in the German’s case) or increasingly uncomfortable with Dev (in the case of everyone who was yelled/cussed at by Dev).
- As a result of all this, Dev felt it best to go on social media and rant about us.
- Dev accused a patron of sleeping with me right before the flight home, during a 40 minute period in which I was actually napping at about 3am. So to reiterate, it was about 3am, I was very tired and wanted to nap before my flight, so I went off alone into the guest room and closed the door.
- Her evidence for this was that this patron was not seen for that period by one other person. But awkwardly, she did not ask the other patron who was there, who was in fact actively hanging out with the patron she accused of sleeping with me. Again, to rephrase, the only time Dev accused someone of something, they had an alibi, that person being the other person Dev had earlier yelled at.
- In other words, she accused me of betraying my husband, and risking ruining my whole life, for a 40 minute 3am fling with someone moments before a flight. And again, she forgot to actually ask the person who she was actively hanging out with during that time, if she was in fact missing. She was not missing.
So, since the above happened, that person, Dev, has continued to wage war against us, all three of us. In total there were 3 women and one other man around us during pretty much all events. There was another man, her significant other, but he was gone much of the time.
The position of every patron at this point:
1. The patron accused of sleeping around, very upset with Dev to this day. Probably the most scarred from being yelled at/cussed at.
2. The female patron Dev also yelled/cussed at, has tried to stay out of things all together, yet remains supportive of the patron accused of sleeping around, because she was literally there with her at the time. Also not feeling so good with Dev’s public angry ranting… none of us feel good about that.
3. The male patron, has pledged nearly the same amount as Dev, he has been incredibly generous/understanding & kind to me. I have never had a problem with him. In fact, I consider him a friend, as I do the other two patrons. As I last checked, they remain patrons to this day. I’m lucky.
But this would not be a balanced article if I did not list off all the things I know Dev is now mad at me for:
1. I spit a drink on her door as a joke, then cleaned it off with Windex without anyone asking me to.
2. Sitting on the bed in the guest room I wanted to do my scheduled Discord with patrons. I asked for everyone to be quiet or only have conversations on Discord if they were going to be in the room. I asked this repeatedly. As they continued to have conversations completely unrelated to Discord, I finally said “guys seriously shut the f*** up” in a normal voice. I could not hear my Discord chat (it was literally ruining my call with patrons).
The people who I said that two were (1) Dev’s significant other who was drinking and was primarily the one speaking loudly. (2) A patron, who was being spoken to by Dev’s significant other.
After that happened, I was told by one of the patrons he went up stars and was angrily ranting about how I asked them to “shut the f*** up” in his own house. To be fair, even though he was drinking, he wasn’t totally wrong. It is very very rude of someone to be invited to stay at someone’s house, and react how I did to the Discord call being repeatedly made impossible by conversations taking place in the room I was staying. (eventually, because they would not let me speak on Discord without outside conversations happening, I just locked myself in the bathroom and continued talking to patrons on Discord… I was told they would stop talking in the background finally but I didn’t believe them, and tried to salvage my Discord instead of taking their word for it)
3. Uh… I think that’s it. Nope… wait, I also bought them all ice cream, and when it seemed like they were done, I pushed their remaining ice cream off the table outside onto the gravel and laughed… I guess not everyone got the joke 😛
So, I personally am sorry that I came off as rude when I was trying to get silence on my Discord call so I could hear what people were saying.
I’m sorry if they were actually going to eat the rest of the ice cream I bought them, I really did think they were done.
I’m not really sorry about the door because it was cleaner than when I found it, when I left (unless Windex doesn’t work, which we all know it does).
And… I guess the thing I am the most sorry for is that it was such a bad time for the other patrons after we all got cussed at/yelled at in Dev’s car. Like I feel like we all died a little when that happened.
Now how I feel about Dev today…
I blocked her from Patreon, so as I understand her last pledge was refunded. We had made many Skype calls to each other over the last couple years and we mostly just played internet games together… that was always pretty fun.
Dev also liked to do Tarrot readings and is a big believer in the mystical stuff, which is… familiar as my mom is the same way. BTW Dev is also in her 30’s if you were wondering.
It was really sad this happened with Dev because I considered her a friend. We always had a good time together, so when she snapped it was a shock. While I would never be friends with Dev again or accept her pledge, I don’t have angry feelings for her or anything. I just don’t want to risk another episode.
Also, I appreciate her significant other buying me a couple bottles of Kombucha, that was really nice of him.
In general I just want Dev to try to be healthy, think about how to not let things bottle up. We all gotta express our feelings, communication was the clear absence here.
When Dev made the schedule without having a real conversation with us over it, that was a communication problem.
When Dev didn’t tell us she was upset till she found herself exploding on us in the car, that was another communication issue.
When Dev tried to ignore the problem as if it did not exist after she exploded on us, that was another communication problem.
And lastly, at one point Dev said I had a beer belly, only to later say I didn’t have a beer belly… that was a communication problem… it was also a bit upsetting because you know, you don’t really just say to your friends that you think they are fat. They’re your friends.
But yeah, overall, I just wanted to explain all this as it came up in a video. So if you ever hear me expressing PTSD or bitterness about what happened, it’s still in my mind. But for Dev herself, I wish her well. It’s just a bummer this had to happen. Better after 2 years than 4 or 10 years I guess.
It’s really important to know who you are actually friends with – not the mask the try to convince you is them…
Like for instance Dev telling the others that she hadn’t been watching my videos anymore, but never telling me that. I understand not watching my videos at the time, because I was a bummer… just wished people would be honest with me about it, and not lead me on, to think they actually liked me.
So! Future Patreon events?
1. Never being hosted anywhere but in my home state.
2. I am driving my own car. Never subjecting myself to someone else driving again if possible.
3. No one should be staying at anyone’s house, so if they have a melt down, you can simply escape them (me staying in Dev’s guest room, even though she outright invited me, was a huge mistake)
Something I would like to say that I think is kind of a relief, is that the other patrons got to see first hand what I deal with seemingly often. One day, someone is supportive of you, they act like you’re great. The next day you are the worst person ever to them right after you indicate to them that you have a problem with their hostile behavior.
I’m very glad that there were witnesses, and I’m very happy that I am still friends with every patron involved outside her. It was a validating moment to actually have people see first hand how because you simply say “What you did was not ok.” people can completely lose it and try to smear/villainize you.
But as I said, it is a relief that I was not the only one there, so others could see first hand, what really happened. I’m grateful for everyone other than Dev, for still being my friend & still being supportive after what we all went through.
One last note, Dev wanted to go boating on a river… I think she wanted us to paddle for like a mile or something, but I didn’t want to paddle, so I just stayed behind with another patron in the boat and we bumped into the walls of a bridge repeatedly for fun.
After Dev realized we didn’t want to paddle a mile, and wanted to just mess around/have fun, she abandoned everyone on her boat (she was the only one of us out of the five in a boat alone, she demanded it) – I didn’t realize Dev had paddled off alone till the other two told us she abandoned them as well. But I had a great time with my boat-mate.
When Dev got back, she continued to act frustrated with us as we giggled about bumping our boat into walls, and she abandoned everyone again, paddling off alone.
The four off us paddled back alone, racing in the most dysfunctional way, and found Dev had already beached herself and paid for her own boat.
It was… weird man.
Anyway, with all that being said, here is me being a total riot: